Answer: You're right that in these modern times of sexual freedom and without the necessity of marriage, the sexual landscape of society looks different, particularly for women. It's not uncommon to be single for decades and as a result, have numerous sexual partners. In America for example, one third of adults are single. And it's not unreasonable to assume that they are having sex casually and with multiple partners.

Among the many long term singles, both men and women, some will have had less than you, and some may have had more. The point is not to compare, or judge, but to accept yourself, for you first and foremost, including your past. Once you feel comfortable with that, it will be easier to share this part of you with someone else. If you feel shame or judge yourself badly, that will come across and you invite others to do the same.

You may not want to be as open and matter of fact about having over 100 partners as say a character like Samantha on fabricated show Sex and the City would be, particularly to someone you love and want to share your life with, but you know that already, because you have a natural hesitation to share this information. However it's important that you do so, in your own way. Your past is part of who you are, and sharing your sexual and relationship history is not only part of having safer sex, it's a part of becoming intimate with one another.

It's up to you if you want to be exact with your number or if you just want to share with this new love that as a single woman you've had a number of partners. You can gage what his reaction might be by being vague at first, but again I stress it's important to stay true to yourself.

You say you're afraid your relationship might change with him if you're honest – is that because you're afraid you might be judged by him? That he might look at you differently? Be open with him. You are a woman who has been single and enjoyed sex. Get tested for sexually transmitted infections and show him your status so you both take responsibility for your sexual health and safety (he should do this too, because you only need to have 1 partner not 100 to expose yourself to a potentially sexually transmitted infection and safer sex involves knowing your own body and being honest with yourself and your partner/s).

This man is not your match for life if he doesn't accept who you are and the past that shaped you. Tell him your sexual past is exactly that: your past and he is your present. Tell him how you feel about your sexual and relationship history, and express your fears to him about your relationship changing. He may not especially like your past, or he may not mind, or he may understand and have one of his own that's similar, or something else in his history too.

Ask him if he has anything to share. Trust is built on reciprocity: one person shares a little about themselves, opens up, takes a risk with themselves, their identity, their feelings, and if it's received well and feels safe, and the other person shares back, then intimacy is built and trust is formed. Bit by bit, a relationship becomes close and solid this way. So if you share this and are honest about how you feel about it, and about telling him, that openness has the opportunity to create great closeness between you. And that's a very good thing.